For those who love humor
by Kittens infest my soul
Summary: Who loves humor? You do! Read me for a quiet, forbidden giggle. If you enjoy the works of arachniphiliac, well then gee hecky, this is for you! Guaranteed funny!


Just a fanfiction experiment. Below is the actual text of the Miyu graphic novels as translated by the mysterious 'DS'. I thank him/her/it eternally for putting in the time and effort, but the lure of bad grammar was too much to resist. Here you is, kids.

And in case you're wondering I'm not another author using a pen name for fear of their account being removed. Shame on you, children.

The characters I'm using are Miyu, LARVA (Lavar ::snicker::), the Western Shinma, a condom, a stick of wax, and a shaved goat

~~~

translation by DS

English Supervision by AC

Condom: That person deserves to be shot

Stick of Wax: That wasn't very nice

Once in the distant past, 

Gods and demons were of one existence.

But humans who feared them sealed them off into the world of Darkness.

They're called "Shinma."

In a timeless space of Darkness, they sleep.

But there are those who wander out of the cold dark world of confusion, to this world.

They're "stray Shinma" who come to the world of humans in search for freedom and destruction.

It is the disturbed hearts of humans that call on them.

One girl stands in their way.

The descendent of vampires, the supervisor of Shinma.

The girl who is destined to hunt down Shinma who wandered into the realm of actuality where humans live.

Her name is Miyu.

Vampire Miyu."

Carlua: But we knew that

Amy: OK, shut up

Carlua: Oh, are we cranky? Are we PM-

Cait Sith: Both of you be silent

Larva: Yeah, be quiet

::thump:: 

Cait Sith: You too, pretty boy

Larva: Wait! I'm not allowed to speak in the OAVs, and now-?

Water Lipper: No one cares, inkblot

(Larva retires sulkily to a tree limb to lounge)

1

"Flowers are dying.."

Larva: Chirped the happy little elf shrewdly(All turn to stare at Larva, who puts on his mask)The girl said and sighed quietly.

After the long severe winter, around the time when cherry flowers blossom, the town of Kyoto become increasingly beautiful, like a girl waking up in love.

Carlua: Amy can identify with-

::Thump thump thump::

Pazusu: Hey! Both of you! Settle yourselves down or I'll sit on your heads and hum

Carlua:. . .what?

Private school Rakuinkan High mid-way through spring break.This place too was decorated by the flowers and was temporarily spared its arid image.Cherry trees surrounded the school house, further encircled the dike around the PE field, 

Carlua: Like Amy

Amy: That's right, I'm a dyke, I like womenStick of wax: You have yet to prove you AREN'T a woman

Amy: You KICKED me between the legs!

Stick of wax: And you screamed like a girl

Condom: Hey, leave him alone

Amy: Aah! I don't need help from you!

and looked down on the sparsely occupied school yard.

Nagi: The cherry trees are LOOKING at the yard?

Ranka: That's funny. Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee *hi* hee hee hee

Shaved goat: Please stop herOn the dike was an old man facing a canvas. 

Spartoi: If she's a dike, then shouldn't that be an old _woman_? I mean....a dike is a....yeah? No! That's dyke, huh? Or wait…

Miyu: Don't try too hard, you'll hurt yourself

He's Komiya, the art teacher of this school.Komiya was drawing the fully blossomed cherry tree with oil paint on a brand new canvas leaning on an antique easel.There was a girl watching him from behind a cherry tree, a short distance away from him.

It was Miyu.

Lemunia: Bum bum bum!

"Looks as if.. 

Carlua: Miyu likes her men with masses of wrinkles. . .

(All male Western Shinma edge away from Miyu)

(Spartoi sits with blank look on his face)

the cherry blossoms that he drew are.. dying."She muttered again, as if she was talking to the tree.

(Larva gives Miyu a hooded look)

Nagi: If she hugs the tree, I'm running

As if to answer her mutter, the cherry tree that Miyu was leaning on stirred, its flowers flew up into the sky.

Cait Sith: Landed on Miyu and began draining her energy! Like some bad Sailor Moon episode

Night Gia: You watch Sailor Moon?

Larva: You puss

The next moment, a black shadow stood by Miyu.

Its physique was totally un-Japanese. The figure, completely covered by a black robe and a wearing strange mask, is none other than Miyu's servant, Lavar. 

Carlua: LAVAR?

Spatoi: Who the hell is Lavar?

Larva: THREE GUESSES! Who wears a mask, and a black cloak, and tends to hang around Miyu?

Spatoi: Uh. . . .

Larva: I wasn't asking you

Spartoi: Oh. Wait! You, right? Oh! Only one letter changed

"I smell Shinma!"

Lavar said in a low but clear voice.

Condom: Before doubling over and gaggingMiyu tilted her head slightly.

Carlua: "But Amy isn't around…"Amy: You're gonna get it, wench"But it's not him.."Carlua: Amy is a him?

Lemunia: Enough about Amy, let's talk about _us_Carlua: Augh, go lust after Larva!

Larva: ?!

That instant Komiya stopped his paint brush as if he heard her words.

He turned towards where Miyu was.

But..

There was not a sign of anybody there and only some cherry flowers flew around.

Komiya turned back to the canvas with a satisfied look.

Water Lipper: Nothing like a good gas attack to scare off any golden eyed vampire children hiding behind talking trees with Lavars in them

His lip was twisted uglily to one side.

Shaved goat: Uglily? That's not a word!

It looked as if he was sneering at the conversation betwees Miyu and her companion.

Night Gia: "Why don't those two just get a room"

Spartoi: Betwees. . .hee hee

"I found her! Finally.."

He told himself quietly and chuckled an unpleasant sound.

Amy: Any specific unpleasant sound, or just unpleasant in general?

Cait Sith: How do they know he was talking to himself? He could be talking to the trees

Lemunia: Like Miyu

His face had none of the dignity of the art teacher that he was till moment ago, and bore a demon-like evilness.

Nagi: As opposed to an angelic evilness

He hurriedly put the painting materials away into a case.

Tucking the folded easel and half painted canvas 

Stick of wax: Into his body

under his elbow and 

Larva: Singing a happy song

putting the paint case on his shoulder, Komiya started walking happily toward the school house.

Pazusu: Singing Disney tunes on the way

Ranka: The feeling of happiness would better be portrayed if he were skipping towards the school house, as well as being more amusing. Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee heeeeeeeeeeee-

(Larva sits nonchalantly on Ranka's head)

After Komiya left, for some reason only the cherry tree that Komiya modeled was shedding its flowers.

Spartoi: It was trying to look perky for it's portrait

2

After the entrance ceremony, red faced students swarmed into the class room.

Carlua: Red faced? What exactly goes ON in an entrance ceremony?!?

Spartoi: Heh heh heh, an _entrance_ ceremony

Miyu: Ew

Miyu, in Rakuinkan High uniform, was looking uninterestingly at students coming into the classroom.

Her short life as a new student of this school began today.

Stick of wax: Short because Larva had been muttering about stabbing her in the neck with a pencil that morning

"Oh, what're you doing? 

Spartoi: Stop that, this is school!"

Why didn't you show up at the ceremony?"

The nosy boy next to her desk asked.

While intentionally not looking at him, Miyu told him.

Amy: "I'm not into hard-core porno, thank you"

"I was late. 

Miyu: Larva had better pay child support

Don't worry."

"Some snobby girl.."

Feeling rejected, the boy sat down turned to front.

Then, listening to their conversation, a girl chuckled, and sat down behind Miyu.

Spartoi: "I'm a-gonna yank her braid fur that. Huh huh"

Miyu turned around and the girl smiled at her. She was a fair-skinned pretty girl with a slender face that looked obviously cheerful.

Water Lipper: With an obvious lack of dental care

The instant she saw the girl, Miyu felt familiar with her.

"Things like the entrance ceremony are pretty meaningless. I really don't see why we should attend that kind of thing."

The girl looked down on the desk a little embarrassed.

Lemunia: "Uh, not that I regularly DO attend that sort of thing, heh heh"

"I'm Asuka, as in "flying bird." Asuka Mishima. Nice to meet you."

"I'm Miyu. Miyu Tanaka.. 

Carlua: As in "Miyu the Flaming Dyke Child"

(Miyu launches fireball at Carlua)

But call me Miyu. I don't like being called by my surname."

Night Gia: "I tend to go into fits of homicidal ranting"

"You aren't a native of Kyoto, are you?! I mean.."

Asuka asked with eyes shining with curiosity. But instead of answering, Miyu looked back to Asuka with cool eyes.

Nagi: "As a matter of fact I am, but-oh, it said I didn't answer. Never mind"

"You better be careful. It could be dangerous to touch somebody's 

Larva: Tell me about it

Miyu: Quiet!

past."

Asuka was startled for an instant and opened her eyes wide.

Miyu's word must've stabbed into Asuka's 

Cait Sith: Open eye

(Larva kicks Cait Sith into the wall)

Larva: That's morbid. Um, sorry

Cait Sith: No you're not

Larva: No I'm not

past.

"Y.. you're right. I'm sorry.. Are you mad at me?"

Nagi: "I'm mad at my bus ticket"

Asuka looked at Miyu with face that was just about to cry.

Larva: The rest of her was quite merry, just her face was about to cry

Seeing Asuka like that, Miyu found herself feeling close to Asuka and unable to reject her.

(Is this a power this girl has?..)

Lemunia: (Is she seducing me?)

Miyu felt her heart soften.

Carlua: Causing her rather messy death

"Don't worry. I think we can be friends."

Miyu said something she didn't expect herself to say.

Larva: "BLOWJOB!!!! Oh, sorry….."

3

That day, the hours after school were allotted for looking around clubs.

The senior members of various clubs came to the class that Miyu was in for a membership drive.

"Miyu, wanna go look around at clubs?"

Miyu nodded to Asuka's question instantly. 

Amy: "Yes! Please! Anything blunt!"

Miyu had a club she wanted to see herself.

Spartoi: The big shiny black one

Asuka, accompanied by Miyu, set off to look around.

Both of them seemed to be unathletic. 

Carlua: That's what you think. Have you ever tried to capture and brainwash her servant?

Larva: Servant?!

Lemunia: Yeah, the OAV said you are her servant cause she clocked you

Cait Sith: Heh heh, Larva's the help

They did look around the athletic clubs, but they never went up to the clubs.

Amy: And they felt the need to mention this because…?

So as they wandered aimlessly, 

Shaved goat: They began random sexual experimentation

they reached the edge of the school house. There was scarcely anybody around, and there weren't too many rooms being used for club activities.

But on the classroom on the far end of the hallway was a sign that obviously meant that it was used for the art club.

In small letters, the sign read, "members wanted!"

Cait Sith: Enthusiastic recruiting techniques

Miyu: Not EVERYONE can get minions from their mommy, you know

"Say, Miyu. Why don't we have a look here?"

Asuka asked apparently out of whim. But it was obvious that she was interested in the art club the most.

"Sure. Why not."

Night Gia: Anything to shut you up

Miyu opened the door herself. 

Stick of wax: Failing to mention WHICH part of herself she used

The club that Miyu was interested in was also this art club.

The room was for the art class to begin with. It was used for 

Spartoi: Art

regular classes, but right now, it was unoccupied and quiet. Even the art club members were nowhere to be seen, and instead, there were numerous portraits all over the room.

"Oh, there's nobody around. What's going on in this art club?"

Asuka muttered disappointingly.

"But.. somebody is.. no I feel presence.. not just one, but many.."

"Oh come on! Don't say that kind of weird thing!"

Water Lipper: "Or at least be grammatically correct"

Asuka shrugged and hid behind Miyu's back.

Lemunia: In a convenient hole she found there

"I'm sorry! I just felt like that."

Cait Sith: "Open a window, it'll clear out soon"

(Miyu slaps Cait Sith on the back of the head, then wipes her hand on Larva)

Larva: Hey!

"Come on Miyu. Knock it off!"

Cait Sith: Knock me up!

And the two giggled and played around for a while. An old man came in.

Water Lipper: Then they giggled and played with him

It was the art teacher, Komiya.

Komiya found the two and smiled at them softly.

Amy: At least he's not smiling at them hardly…

Larva: You're a sick, sick…whatever you are

"You must be new students. Welcome to the art club."

Spartoi: We do art here

Greeting them with a smile, he looked like nothing more than a kind hearted gentleman.

"T.. thank you. But where are the members?"

Stick of wax: In my pants…. And yes, the plural WAS correct….

Asuka asked eagerly, and Komiya looked troubled.

Condom: "Wait…you're not legal"

"Well.. a pretty bad rumor about the club was spread around, and it's been downhill since then. Sure, there're members, but.. there aren't too many willing members. Unfortunately..."

Said Komiya and he smiled weakly.

"Aren't there any new members?"

"No.. not right now.. But that doesn't mean we aren't taking new members. Did you see the sign on the door? Some member in the club put that up."

Komiya glanced at the two students.

Miyu: "Do you think we've said members enough in the last few sentences?"

Cait Sith: "I'm getting faintly aroused. You?"

"What about you two?"

"Yes! 

Miyu: "I AM aroused!"

I'll join! I mean, I'd like to join the club. Miyu. Come on. Let's join the club."

Asuka tugged Miyu's sleeve.

Larva: Miyu backhanded her

"Before that, may I hear the strange rumor you mentioned?"

Komiya frowned a little, but went back to his usual gentle expression again and nodded.

4

The three moved to the prep room inside the art class room.

Amy: Inside were the preps

There were three coffee cups on Komiya's desk by the window.

Their contents were brewed by Asuka.

Shaved goat: Which was odd because of the lack of any coffee-making devices in the room

"Thank you. I'll enjoy it."

Stick of wax: He said, pulling out a length of plastic hose...

Said Komiya and he sipped the coffee.

"Hmm.. great.

Night Gia: he lied, then casually poured it out the window onto the head of a passing student, who was vaporized instantly

Coffee that I make myself is sure bad.. Oh yes.

Condom: So BAAAAAD……..

The rumor.. Let's see.. It was the spring three years ago. The rumor started when I came

Lemunia: They always do

to this school."

"And what is the rumor?"

Spatoi: "That **is** the rumor"

Irritated by Komiya's slow talk, Miyu asked.

"The rumor goes that the students who belong to this art club have been dying mysteriously. That they died suddenly.

"Was the rumor true?"

Miyu: Of course, you ignorant slut

This time, Asuka asked interested.

"Yes. I found out that it seems to be half true. There were quite a number of art club members who died in these last couple of years, and they were all sudden deaths."

"Half?.."

Miyu: Me brains have leaked out. I no know da word now

"Well, it wasn't just the art club members who were dying suddenly."

"Then, there were other sudden death victims."

Larva: No

"Then, doesn't that mean the student of this school, in general, often die suddenly?"

Asuka said in clearly frightened face. Her hand firmly gripped Miyu's uniform's sleeve.

Miyu: Miyu firmly gripped Asuka's head until she let go

"But if there is solid evidence, why does it just stay a rumor?"

Of course, Miyu wasn't frightened.

Spartoi: That's cause she's too stupid to be afraid

Miyu: It looks like someone's too stupid to know when it's safe to keep his mouth shut

Spartoi: Yeah Larva

Larva: Huh?

"This's the strange part of the rumor. Those that died weren't ordinary students. For instance, some didn't have definite backgrounds. Or those with death certificates dated long before they died. There were some who didn't even have any evidence that they existed. 

Lemunia: "Oh! Except for the fact that they did exist. That's the confusing part"

Strange isn't it?"

Asuka's fair face was totally pale. Looking at her, Komiya added hastily.

Water Lipper: "I'm sure you have a _valid_ pre-dated death certificate" 

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you. It's just that there are some strange folks who wanted to join the club. 

Larva: "Like you two!"

Miyu: "They all want to see my hose trick"

Some were nosy ones who just wanted to know the truth behind the rumor, or others were members of some cult research group. 

Larva: The Honored Union Of Kentucky Fried Chicken Barbecue Style Cultists Of Amer-uh, Tokyo

(All turn to stare at Miyu)

Miyu: Whaat?

I was getting tired of those. I thought you two were one of them, 

Amy: I thought you TWO were ONE of them?

Lemunia: They have morphed into one, larger, greater being, now

so I went on a little too far. I'm sorry."

Komiya panicked enough to look humorous, and started to be kind to them. 

All: Ewww. . . .

Carlua: Miyu, are YOU ever kind to Larva?

Miyu: Jealous?

(Kicks Larva awake) 

Miyu: And you're spending too much time around her

He repeatedly said "I'm sorry" or "I didn't mean it," wiping sweat off his forehead. 

Condom: With his member

His act looked so theatrical that Miyu couldn't stand staying in there.

"I better get going. I'd like to think over about joining the club."

Miyu left the seat so suddenly that Asuka seemed to feel awkward.

"Mi.. 

Larva: no tengo hambre

Miyu.."

"Asuka, you better think about it too."

Asuka seemed to think about it for a moment. She stood up, and made up her mind.

"Sensei, I'll come again."

Komiya nodded back, plainly disappointed,

Larva: "Isn't seven ENOUGH for you? I am but a man!"

and smoothed his white hair.

"If you change your mind, come in whenever you want to."

He smiled weakly saying so.

5

After saying good-by to Asuka who was taking Keihan Rail,

Water Lipper: Wonder if that's his name, or an earned title

Miyu walked down an empty private road towards the mountain.

The road gradually became uphill, and the blackness of night was fast approaching.

A nameless mountain bird flew out from a nearby tree, making a loud cry.

Cait Sith: Why didn't it have a name? Didn't it's mother love it?

Miyu, who was walking quietly, suddenly stopped.

The bamboo shrub stirred a little and the next moment, Lavar appeared out of nowhere and was by Miyu's feet.

Nagi: Even though he's about ten feet taller than Miyu

Carlua: Stumbling out off the shrubs, are we?

Amy: The least you could do was stay on your feet

Lemunia: What's with you and playing around in the foliage?

Water Lipper: What were you doing in there?

Larva: I bumped the shrub! I'm sorry!

His usual mask was not in place and instead his startlingly handsome natural face was there.

Pazusu: Miyu screeched, startled by his natural face

Larva: That's not funny

"That Komiya teacher is some weasel, isn't he?"

Miyu said without turning to Lavar.

Larva: No, more of a ferret, I'd say

"But he does not have the scent of Shinma."

Lavar seemed to be watching Miyu all day.

Carlua: Even during her trip to the little girl's room

(Miyu glares at Larva, who goes cross-eyed and falls over)

"That's right. He could be.."

Before Miyu could continue, Lavar interrupted her.

"Before that, the girl seemed to be Shinma."

"I knew that, but.."

"Miyu, you should spare no mercy on Shinma."

Miyu shook her head.

Miyu: Will you let me finish a damn sentence?!

"No. 

Miyu: Bitch

It's not mercy. I want to ask Asuka something. So.. I don't want to return her to Darkness.. till then."

Then, Miyu chuckled.

"Lavar, you're thinking too much. 

Carlua: There's an original problem

Did you think I'd sympathize with Shinma and let her get away?"

"..........."

Water Lipper: All logical thought process has ceased

Instead of answering, Lavar took the usual mask out of nowhere and covered his handsome face.

Condom: I'd like to know what else he's got stuffed in his nowhere

Watching still silent Lavar in the corner of her eyes, Miyu kept on giggling.

She kept on giggling, but she suddenly stopped.

Amy: …..that was memorable

"Komiya is strange, but there's something in the art classroom. 

Miyu: "I think it do be pictures"

I couldn't see Shinma, but I felt them. 

Larva: It just wasn't enough to get me off

Lots of them"

Larva: Still wasn't enough

Miyu: I'm just insatiable

Miyu looked sharply at Lavar.

"Lavar, take care of Komiya. I want to go look into Asuka"

Nagi: She takes the girl, and gives Larva the guy. . .

"As you wish. I am a servant destined to follow you."

Carlua: Ha! You're the HELP!

Hearing his words, Miyu started walking again, leaving Lavar there.

It became completely dark all around.

Lemunia: "Uh, Larva? I could probably get where I'm going a lot faster if you took your cloak off my head"

Miyu kept on walking towards thick black darkness, blending into it, and disappearing.

Lavar stayed where he was until Miyu disappeared. Once Miyu was gone, he also disappeared.

6

Asuka Mishima was recalling the day's incident

Occasionally, she shouted, and gripped her fists so hard that the blood vessels almost ruptured.

"Shit!! That bastard!! I'm going to get him!!"

Larva: Only seven orgasms….that selfish pig!

Whoever she's referring to, the way she swore was totally different from the gentle girl during the day.

But at the same time, the tears falling from Asuka's clear eyes spoke of the deep sorrow she kept within herself.

"I'm sorry, mom. Just you wait. I'll help you soon.."

Stick of wax: The kind of personal problem you normally don't find mother and daughter bonding over….

She tightened her fists. Her favorite skirt was ruined with the tears and fists, but she didn't care.

Carlua: Now now, you're getting fist all over your favorite skirt

Right now, Asuka's room was filled with sorrow and rage.

Just then...

"Asuka-san. What are you crying about?"

She heard Miyu's voice come out of the blue. Surprised by Miyu's sudden voice, Asuka

Shaved goat: Shit herself twice

turned around and found Miyu.

Carlua: Better than hearing Miyu's voice and turning around and finding Larva

"Miyu! How did you.."

Shocked, Asuka was at a loss for words.

"Something about you bothered me. 

Spartoi: "I can't put my finger on exactly what. It could be your shrill, piercing voice, or it could be the way you cling constantly, or feel the need to drill me with questions, or the fact you have no teeth, or you constantly giggle, or you pulling on my braid, which I beat Larva for"

Miyu: I do not beat! I give gentle reminders

so, I just dropped 

Miyu: My panties. Take me, stud

by to see you."

Water Lipper: And let you bother me some more

"Just dropped by.. Miyu, how did.. What?!"

Larva: "What the hell is THAT!? I've never seen THAT before!"

Asuka raised her voice remembering something suddenly.

Lemunia: "Oh yes, grammar! I forgot about that"

"Miyu.. You're the Miyu? The huntress who is destined to return stray Shinma to the Darkness?"

"That's right. You finally noticed? You're pretty slow for a Shinma."

Larva: You're slow for a tranquilized dementia patient 

"But I had other things on my mind during the day.."

"I don't think that a Shinma has any problem greater than being returned to the Darkness."

Hearing that, Asuka turned pale. She finally realized the reason Miyu, the huntress of stray Shinma, appeared in front of her.

"Now, that's rather completely different 

Larva: I'll say

from the acting during the day."

"Please Miyu, wait! There's something that I have to do! Please!"

Asuka pleaded with large beads of tears falling. She kept on saying "please" while bowing down to floor.

"Hmm.. tears. I'm pretty weak on that, you know?.."

Miyu: That and the bending over

"Then, will you wait.. Miyu?"

By the time Asuka looked up with tear soaked face, Miyu wasn't there. Just her words came on spring night wind.

"I'll wait.. Until you finish your business. But I'm pretty whimsical.. So, I might change my mind.. "

After that, her chuckle continued.

"Miyu.. Thank you so much.."

Asuka wiped her tears and stood up quietly.

Her frailness was completely gone, and a girl determined to accomplish her purpose was left.

7

"Morning!"

Spartoi: The morning after CAN be hell…..

Miyu came into the classroom and greeted Asuka, who was talking to a classmate behind her seat.

Cait Sith: And ignoring the one under her seat

Asuka responded a moment later.

"Good morning."

She smiled refreshingly.

There seemed to be no relation between the huntress and Shinma.

Amy: No one could know of the steamy night they had shared together

But in reality, Miyu was a huntress of Shinma, and Asuka was a powerless stray Shinma who was destined to be hunted.

Nagi: If you haven't gathered that by now, find a knife and use it

And the fateful time was approaching steadily.

When Asuka finished her business, it would be the time for Miyu

Larva: They had both shared the jalapeño special and washed it down with concentrated gin

to return her to the Darkness.

Lemunia: Miyu waited patiently outside the bathroom door

And her purpose was....?

"Miyu, do you mind coming with me

Larva: "Not in the slightest"

after the class?"

Asuka asked.

"Sure, I wouldn't mind... But is it the art club again?"

"Yeah. I was thinking of joining the club. What about you, Miyu?"

Asuka said with a bright face, and glanced at Miyu's face.

Amy: Miyu quickly masked the gagging expression she had on it

Miyu shook her head widely.

Larva: The infamous wide-headed Miyu

"No, I won't join. I don't like the teacher.. Asuka, you don't like him, too, right?"

"N.. not really."

"You don't have to hide.."

Larva: "I've seen all of you"

Miyu said with a smiling face.

Speaking of the devil.. 

Carlua: Satan just happened to be substituting that day

Komiya himself came along.

"Oh, hi. So, you're in this class.

Miyu: No we're not…really

I looked all over for you."

Miyu: "The art room, the hall…the art room…"

Walking up to them, Komiya started talking to Asuka and Miyu.

"I wanted to talk to you two. 

Stick of wax: So I started talking to you two"

It seems yesterday, I scared you two with that funny talk. So, just to make it up to you, while setting aside joining the club, would you like to model for my painting?"

"Us? Model for your painting?"

Amy: Nekked?

Asuka seemed to be surprised, but her eyes were shining contradictory to her words.

"What do you say?"

"Sure, happily. Miyu, what do you think?"

Miyu was silent and still thinking.

Pazusu: Give her a few minutes

Carlua: Hours

Cait Sith: Millennia

"Well, I'm not saying you have to. So just think about it. Bye."

Asuka said, to Komiya who's about to leave.

"I'll come by the art room after school."

Then, Komiya nodded happily and left the classroom.

"Komiya-sensei's model?"

The nosy boy (his name is Watanabe), who had been listening to them, cut in all of a sudden.

"Komiya-sensei is ranked as #1 or 2 in Kyoto for portraits.

Condom: Possibly nine

It's a real honor that you've been selected by sensei."

He seemed to be impressed with his own words.

Spartoi: "I'm tho thmart"

"Watanabe-kun, do you know about Komiya-sensei?"

Miyu asked.

Watanabe blushed, stroked his close cropped head, and nodded once, looking embarrassed.

Amy: "I know every crevice of him. Uh, don't spread that around"

"Yeah. I joined the baseball club yesterday, but Komiya-sensei was famous even in jr. high. He's teaching here as a hobby. So, he recieved title of special guest teacher. Besides, he's doing the judging for the N Exhibition."

"What's the N Exhibition?"

Amy: The Nude Exhibition

Spartoi: The Nipple Exhibition

"Mishima-san, you want to join the art club and don't know that?"

"Wait a minute, did you eavesdrop on our conversation?!"

Watanabe looked embarrassed.

"Sorry. I just happened to hear you. I didn't mean to. Back to N Exhibition, it's the national contest of the art world. It's sort of a convention where famous artists from all over Japan bring their work and talk about them."

"I really don't get it, but he sounds like a really important man."

"That's right."

Watanabe sounded proud as if he was talking about himself.

8

Miyu did not even accompany Asuka, because she had no intention of joining the club or modeling.

Spartoi: Because she had the figure of a balloon animal

When Asuka went to the art room, Komiya was waiting.

"What about the other girl?"

Asked Komiya. Asuka lowered her head to apologize.

"Miyu.. I mean Tanaka-san doesn't like oil painting, so she won't model nor join the club. I'm sorry."

"I see. Too bad. But you don't have to apologize. After all, you came to model for me."

"Yes."

Asuka answered in a faint voice.

"I see. Don't like oil paints, does she?.. Oh well."

But still Komiya muttered in a tone of regret.

"She said something like the oil painting doesn't go well with the old capital."

Larva: You know...N

That moment, Komiya sneered with a loathing expression in front of Asuka for the first time.

But he reverted back to the old gentle face and said

"Well, there're people who think that way."

Nagi: They usually turn up dead

He nodded strongly.

But Asuka didn't miss Komiya's expression turning ugly instantaneously.

She remembered it as firm conviction.

Spartoi: She remembered it from Miyu

(He looks like a gentleman, but it has to be him.)

And she gripped her fist tightly like the previous night.

Miyu: "What's that funny stain on your skirt?"

"And as for the portrait, I'd like to begin tomorrow after school. Is that fine with you?"

Komiya asked without noticing the hatred raging inside Asuka.

Miyu: Despite the fact that she was gnawing on his face

"Huh? Oh.. Sure. I don't mind starting today."

It was Komiya's turn to be at a loss.

Miyu: Of his nose

"No.. I have to do some preparation. So, it's better for me to start tomorrow."

And he handed a memo paper and pencil to Asuka.

"Can you write your name and address? 

Stick of wax: They key part of that sentence being "Can you write?"

I keep a list of my models."

Larva: All negative three of them

Knowing that Komiya's gentle smile was the temptation of a demon, Asuka let the pencil run over the memo.

Amy: Then went and worked on extra credit with Satan after class, knowing it was the extra credit of SATAN

9

It was the day after she started modeling for Komiya's portrait that Asuka started acting funny.

Carlua: She started buzzing around the room with a white cardboard mask with magic marker on it and a black beach towel trying to hug/rape Miyu

Next day, Miyu talked to Asuka about the modeling right away when she came to school.

"Say, Asuka. How was the modeling?"

Then, Asuka answered in a peculiar tone as if she was drunk.

"Yeah.. it was fine.."

Puzzled Miyu tapped on Asuka's shoulder.

"Asuka, 

Nagi: Are you drunk?"

what's wrong? Are you OK?"

To Miyu's surprise, Asuka collapsed onto the desk.

Night Gia: To Miyu's 'surprise'

Lemunia: That tends to happen when you club someone repeatedly over the head

Larva: Yeah, 'tapped'

Miyu's uncertainty worsened when she raised her up and found that Asuka had not passed out.

"What happened? Did Komiya do something to you?

She questioned, but..

"Nothing.. He didn't do anything."

Her answer was halfhearted.

Water Lipper: Much to her obvious disappointment 

(Asuka wouldn't answer like that!)

Larva: Despite the fact that she had done that very thing NOT TWO SECONDS AGO!

In appearance, it only looked as if Asuka was a little pale.

But Miyu knew that Asuka approached Komiya on purpose.

Komiya definitely had something to do with Asuka's change.

Miyu was certain.

(I have to go to the art room again!)

Larva: "I wanna be comatose just like Asuka!"

10

During lunch break, Miyu was in the unoccupied art classroom.

The room appeared to be no different from her last visit two days ago.

"Lavar!"

When Miyu spoke, Lavar appeared as if he had been there all along.

Larva: So who's this Lavar chick? Are you replacing me?

Miyu: Larva…go wash you cloak, or something

"Did you find anything, Lavar?"

Shaved goat: Doesn't that mean 'to wash' in spanish?

"Komiya draws portrait here. As you suspected, they are not ordinary portraits."

"Shinma, isn't it? Isn't he sealing up the souls of Shinma into portraits?"

"Komiya is making a collection of Shinma here."

That clarifies the meaning of the numerous portraits all over the room.

Larva: Oh…….really.

And each portraits contains the soul of a Shinma!

Poop: Each portraits?

Miyu was expecting the answer as he said. It was a shivering response to hear for a member of Shinma.

She felt uncontrollable rage as well as fear.

(I can't let anyone who wound Shinma's pride loose!)

Miyu: So, Amy, Spartoi, Cait Sith, I must kill you now

Miyu had to rescue Asuka as soon as possible.

"Where's Asuka's painting?!"

"In that room!"

Lavar said pointing at the prep room.

Miyu opened up the door to the prep room.

Larva: The preps swarmed over her

In front of her, were two canvas.

Larva: All your base are belong to us

(Miyu kicks Larva and gets her foot tangled in his cloak)

One of them was unmistakably Asuka's portrait, and it was just a little away from completion.

"What?! Just in one day?!"

Also, the other one was obviously meant for Miyu.

Because Miyu's name was taking up the entire space on the white canvas.

Nagi: She used her keen intuition to figure that out

"Is that the key to turning Shinma into collection?! Lavar!"

Lemunia: She's commanding him to wash

Even before Miyu ordered so, Lavar tore the ominous canvas with Miyu's name.

Pazusu: You mean…he tore it with Miyu's name? How…?

That instant, the magic on the canvas was neutralized, and its effect to seal off a Shinma's soul was no longer.

Larva: Used to buy ice cream at a thirty percent discount

Just then, Miyu sensed a presence in the hallway.

Miyu's senses, which surpassed that of humans, told of approaching danger.

Carlua: : Here's comes Montezuma's revenge….

Komiya was coming back.

"Shoot! Lavar, we better get out of here!"

Larva: Shoot?

Water Lipper: Well gee hecky-darn

Escaping from the window of the art classroom (on the 3rd floor), Miyu regretted that she couldn't free Asuka.

Larva: She also regretted the fact the ground was so far away, and went splat

Miyu: No I didn't, we flew

Larva: Oh. . .

11

The 5th period class began.

Miyu: With Satan taking roll call

Miyu attended the class as if nothing happened.

Meanwhile, Asuka still looked half dazed. She was literally soulless.

(Lavar, protect Asuka. I'll send Asuka back to Darkness myself.. 

Larva: Wait…won't that conflict interests?

so, till then..)

Miyu: Go piss in the toaster

Lavar should be watching the art classroom. If Komiya starts drawing, he'd notify her immediately.

Miyu: After having his naughty way with the window

Halfway through the class, a scream pierced through the classroom.

Miyu: Satan found the tack we put on his chair

"Can't be!"

The first thing Miyu saw, after turning around, was Asuka twitching and facing down on her desk.

"Asuka, hang on!"

She shouted, 

Carlua: Shaking her chest suggestively in Asuka's face

but Asuka didn't respond.

(Lavar, what's going on?)

Lavar's voice echoed in Miyu's mind.

Miyu: Why are you asking yourself questions?

[Miyu, we have been deceived. That picture was a fake.]

(No way..)

Larva: Way!

Komiya must be drawing Asuka's portrait elsewhere.

Miyu regretted underestimating Komiya.

But it was too late.

Asuka was taken to the medical room.

Miyu accompanied her, representing the class.

Lemunia: In metric weight

The teachers didn't take the matter seriously. They thought it was light anemia.

Larva: Despite the string of sudden deaths that had been circulating around the school

But Miyu knew. Soon, Asuka would die suddenly of an unknown cause.

Asuka regained consciousness temporarily in bed.

She smiled weakly at Miyu.

"Miyu, I need to tell you something. Will you listen to me?"

Asuka said in whispering voice.

Miyu: No. I'm just here to watch you die

Miyu nodded without saying anything.

"I came out of the Darkness with my mom. I don't know why mom took me to this world. But it was so fun. My family wasn't Shinma that bring harm to humans, so we were doing pretty good. Then, he came. He was a lowly thing who'd hunt Shinma as a hobby. And mom who didn't know about it fell prey. I looked all over for him. But I didn't know he was that powerful.. I didn't know.. I can't stand it.. Please, Miyu, get that thing. And free mom.. and everybody else. Miyu, you can do it. Help all stray Shinma who became his prey, lost their bodies, and became caged in those pictures.. And.. don't forget about me.."

And Asuka closed her eyes. And never opened them again.

Amy: She spent the rest of her life with a cane and a special dog

Her portrait must have been completed.

"Alright. I'll sent your soul with your mom back to Darkness."

Carlua: I will sent your soul? We're having a little problem with our speech, are we?

Miyu promised to Asuka's remains.

And she cried for Asuka's sorrow.

Little later, an uninformed school doctor came in and asked Miyu.

"Who are you? What're you doing there?"

"I'm Miyu. I just said a long good-bye to a friend."

Larva: Nooooo, you said "I will sent your soul"

Miyu said in a depressed manner and left the room.

Larva: "Long"? Ha!

Miyu: You've made such fraudulent claims yourself…

Carlua: Eewwwww

12

"That's a rather unfitting house for the old capital."

Miyu said.

Amy: "Let's BURN it!"

Carlua: You're such a pyro 

From Uji in Rakunan, further to east, at the foothill of Mt.Ohmine, stood Komiya's mansion.

As Miyu said, it was western style building that did not blend in with the atmosphere of the old capital. It had its own entirely different aura.

And there he was.

A monster disguised under the mask of a painter, living on a mountain far away from civilization.

It is the thing with the name of Komiya that preyed on stray Shinma.

Right now, Miyu was back to her usual clothes as Shinma huntress.

There's no need for the school uniform anymore.

"I'm glad you found this place, Lavar."

Miyu turned around and smiled at Lavar who was standing behind her as usual.

Carlua: Lavar began twitching uncontrollably

"But you must be careful. This one is different from the others."

"I know, but I can't lose. I promised Asuka."

Miyu bit her lip and looked up to Komiya mansion.

"Here we go, Lavar!"

Larva: "Wee-heee! Oh…wait, you meant the battle. Oh. Damn"

Komiya was waiting for Miyu to come.

Larva: Dee-skusting

"Come Miyu! Do not make seniors wait!"

Larva: DEEEEEEE-SKUSTING!

Both of them already knew about each other to some extent.

Pazusu: From the art room, heh heh

So Komiya was certain Miyu would come soon.

Larva: He knew what she liiiiiiked

In a hall that may appear to be a room in art museum, portraits big and small were all over the room.

Komiya sank into chair placed in the center of the room, and waited for Miyu to come.

Miyu: Do I sense a preoccupation, here?

Suddenly a gust of wind swept through the room.

(Is that her?!)

Carlua: "It must be, I've smelled her before"

Miyu appeared in front of Komiya.

She stood.. No, hovered in the center of the room. Her golden eyes shining in hatred and anger. And behind her, stood a black-robed figure escorting Miyu, Lavar.

Larva: I'm gonna beat that son of a bitch senseless for impersonating me!

Miyu: ::sigh:: Larva, did you wash your cloak?

Larva: I, uh, I couldn't figure out how to take it off

"Welcome Miyu. The supervisor of Shinma."

Komiya said.

"Thank you for your invitation, thing."

Miyu: Little did we know the art teacher was merely a hand

Miyu played along with Komiya's words.

"That's rather insulting word. I do have a proper name, Akeron."

Miyu: Why are you calling me Akeron?

"Hm, the thing with a hobby of kidnapping. That's what you're. At any rate, you're just a thing."

Miyu said in scornful sound.

Carlua: Creating more gusts of wind

"Talk while you can. You'll be one of my collection soon enough."

A canvas appeared in his palm. Miyu's name was already written there.

Komiya laughed in a disgusting manner.

Amy: AH HAW HAW HAW ::snort:: HEE HAW HAW HAW

Ranka: Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee heee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-

Condom: Ah! Hit her, she's stuck!

Spartoi: Gladly

"I'm sure this piece is going to be my masterpiece. After all, the model is the elite of Shinma.."

His laughter got bigger, and his face became uglier.

Komiya lost his human shape and began showing his true form.

Miyu: And I didn't even have to pay for this

Fissure appeared from its throat to torso.

Thousands of purple tentacles appeared from the fissure.

Larva: Here comes the porn….

The tentacles spread around shaking, looking for something.

Larva: Aw, they're nervous!

Miyu: It's their first time

"Lavar!"

Miyu shouted and Lavar jumped up to air.

Carlua: Air Larva, man

Just as though they responded to her, the tentacles spread. 

Larva: They wuf you, Miyu

It instantly appeared to be a beautiful sight that resembled fireworks blossoming in the sky.

But in reality they were traps of the thing, and they went after Lavar, like sea anemone tentacles going after fish.

Larva: I'm just the #1 stud in the room

Lavar responded to the attacks of the tentacles with his sharp claws. But they had no significant effect on the enemy.

The severed tentacles kept on regenerating, 

Lemunia: Yeah, that happens a lot to me, too

and went after Lavar.

Miyu: The irresistible man-magnet

Komiya still sat in his chair and handled Lavar like a baby. 

Miyu: Breastfeeding him and changing his diaper

His body below the neck looked like a mass of tentacles.

Miyu was starting to feel slightly uneasy.

Nagi: "That's dirty"

(He's powerful alright…)

That moment, Komiya looked at Miyu. So, Miyu ended up facing Komiya with her mental guards down.

Amy: Like the timing had anything to do with it

And she was caught.

When she looked into Komiya's eyes, she found herself paralyzed.

Spartoi: Oh Komiya, you so fine, you so fine you blow my mind, hey Komiya, hey Komiya

Ranka: Hee hee hee hee heehee-

Spartoi: OK! I'll stop!

(So, Asuka got trapped in this thing..)

Shaved goat: Quick, Miyu. Quick

Komiya's mouth opened ignoring his structure of jaw. 

Stick of wax: Which later wrote him an irate letter claiming violation of civil liberties

He produced a shout that hit Miyu like an invisible wall. She was shot backwards.

Miyu hit the room's wall violently and collapsed.

With the shock, several portraits on the wall fell down to the floor.

"Lavar, help!"

Lavar did hear Miyu's plea, but even her faithful servant could do nothing. The tentacles completely covered his body, and constricted him tightly.

Spartoi: He was probably enjoying himself

Lavar's mask was gone and his face was exposed.

His face, twisted not from agony, but from humiliation, looked more beautiful than ever.

Miyu: You're a big help. Just constrict there and be pretty. Maybe you'll startle him with your startlingly handsome natural face

Miyu felt defeated looking at Lavar like that.

(So, I'll be spending eternity inside a painting?)

Larva: Most likely

Miyu: Oh thank you

She imagined the portrait with herself on it.

She wanted to fight, 

Larva: For her right, to paaaaaaaarty

but her body wouldn't move.

"Now the supervisor of Shinma. This is the grand finale!"

She heard Komiya's low voice. The canvas with Miyu's name was raised by what was Komiya's hand.

Larva: As opposed to what?

The surface of the canvas began to change. A portrait started to appear to cover Miyu's name.

(Picture is appearing by itself?..)

Carlua: What you say?

It was clearly Miyu's portrait.

As the fuzzy picture became clearer, Miyu's mind started to fade away.

(I.. I can't beat him..)

Carlua: You can beat Larva, but not him

Miyu's portrait was almost complete.

Just then.

Carlua: Oooo, suspense

[Don't give up! Miyu, fight! Aren't you the supervisor of Shinma?!]

Somebody shouted by Miyu's ear.

Miyu: Aren't I? Now you've cast shadows of doubt into my mind

With the voice, her body was freed from the spell and Miyu regained her freedom.

Miyu picked up a small canvas by her feet, and threw it at Komiya with her all might.

The canvas flew with amazing speed, and stabbed Komiya's split

Condom: He has one of those?

chest.

Komiya's power disappeared for a moment.

"Lavar, now!"

Freed from the sea of tentacles, Lavar lunged. 

Condom: For the sake of propriety I'm not going to attach a sexual significance to that

Passing by Komiya's body, he cut off the head with his claw.

Larva: Just one, mind you

Miyu: "I have but one claw, but beware"

Miyu formed a fire ball in her hand, and threw it at the canvas stuck on Komiya's chest.

When the fire began to burn on Komiya's chest, Miyu finally realized that the portrait on the canvas was Asuka's.

"Asuka saved me.."

Komiya's body was quickly

Carlua: As opposed to Miyu's thinking

engulfed in fire.

Fire was the weakness of this monster.

And the fire kept on burning 

Larva: I think we've established at this point that there is FIRE

Miyu: Fire burns

after consuming Komiya's body and spread around to destroy the mansion.

"Now, return to Darkness! Shinma!"

Miyu told the portraits turning into ash.

Larva: "We're sorry, the Shinma you are trying to order are currently on fire. Please try again later." 

Komiya's mansion was turning into a huge fire ball.

Amy: YAY!

Larva: And we were still in it

Amy: YAY!

Looking at the giant homing beacon, Miyu said.

Larva: "Mmmm, baaaacon."

"Now, they can go back to Darkness. But that thing.. will become ash. Because the beacon is just for Shinma. It's not for the thing."

And she chuckled.

Miyu: No bacon for the thing!

She heard fire engines' sirens in the distance.

"It's too late."

And Miyu turned back to Lavar.

Miyu: Now I get to set YOU on fire!

"Let's go, Lavar."

Just as she started walking, she thought she heard Asuka say "Thank you," so she stopped.

"Good night, Asuka."

Miyu said without turning back, and she disappeared into the night with Lavar.

Larva: FINE! Just go with him! I don't care!

Miyu: Larva, that's you with your name spelled wrong

Larva: Uh, oh. I guess that means I'm not gonna beat him senseless

Miyu: That is subject to your own judgement. Just so long as I get to watch…

Please don't tell on me


End file.
